First up is Julie Kevelighan. First off she looks ridiculous in a sparkly blue-green outfit with loads of green eye shadow…basically an ugly mermaid. She sings terribly. It’s as if Ursula finally got her revenge on Ariel and turned her into this. Instead of judging her performance, the judges critique the sign she carried into the audition. Unfortunately for her, the sign is just as bad as her voice. She not going to Hollywood.
Lloyd Thomas is dock worker. He’s pretty funny, actually. He’s got a good Reuben Studdard-esque voice (not that it’s worked out too well for Reuben), and the judges give him a golden ticket.
Kimberly Carver decides to sing an original song. Original songs (as I have mentioned before) have been the kiss of death in the past. This season, though, they seem to be a sure fire way to make it to Hollywood. Randy and Kara like her, Simon doesn’t. Neil Patrick Harris decides to be precocious and says yes to piss Simon off.
Dexter Ward is a disaster. Imagine Tracy Morgan playing a gay guy on 30 Rock, and that’s what you’ve got here. Everything about this guy is wrong. The judges tear the audition to shreds and he starts to cry. I’m not moved.
Erica Rhodes used to be an actress on the show “Barney and Friends”. She feels the need to show everyone that she’s all grown up so she does what I do when I need to show people the same thing…she dresses up like a dominatrix. The judges ask her to sing the theme song from Barney. She does, in full dominatrix attire. Not sure what kind of “happy family” Barney and the gang had back in the day, but he must be one tough dinosaur. The whole thing is super strange, but the judges are impressed enough to put her through.
Then we meet Dave Pittman. Dave has Tourettes syndrome. Umm…last week we had a girl that couldn’t move half her face and this week we have a guy with Tourettes? Is this American Idol or Ripley’s Believe It or Not? He does a good job, and I keep wondering if anyone is gonna mention the Tourettes. It’s kinda awkward. Neil Patrick Harris breaks the ice, though, and calls it out. Thanks Neil! The judges give Dave a golden ticket. He’s going to Hollywood.
For day 2 in Dallas, the judges are joined by guest judge Joe Jonas. He says less than 10 words the entire show. Joe, we get it, you’re hot. But you gotta contribute something to the show, my friend.
Todrick Hall is the first performer in front of the judges for day two. He used to sing in the Color Purple. He’s cute, and has a nice vibe about him. He sings a super corny original song about the judges, but because this is the year of the original songs, he makes it through anyway. I actually really liked his voice, but wished he had sung a real song.
We see a montage of yes votes, and then meet Meghan Wright. This girl is a fashion disaster, but cute in a disastrous kind of way. She reminds me of that quirky Meghan Joy from last season. The judges like her voice and send her to Hollywood.
Vanessa Johnston makes me want to punch a hole in a wall. She stays positive, evidently by dressing in ridiculous pink and purple outfits. She’s high on pep, but very low on talent. She keeps that positive attitude even as the judges ridicule her performance. You go girl!
Christian Spear is a cancer survivor. She’s 16 so Randy has to exclaim that he can’t believe that she’s only 16. I think she’s the best female vocalist of the night. Not that the competition was particularly steep. So Christian survives cancer and the audition process…and I survive the Dallas episode. All in all, this one was a pretty good one, with the highlights listed below.
Best Female Voice: Christian Spear
Best Male Voice: Todrick Hall
Prettiest Girl: Kimberly Carver
Cutest Guy: Todrick Hall
Best Personality: Lloyd Thomas
Best Overall: Christian Spear
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