American Idol: Road to Hollywood Recap

The last audition episode before Hollywood is a cornucopia episode of all manner of auditions. I imagine some will be good, and some will be bad. Perhaps the good will outnumber the bad, but I’m not hopeful. It is, after all, the early rounds…a place schadenfreude reigns supreme. (Schadenfreude, by the way, is happiness at the misfortune of others.)

Jessica Furney has auditioned before, and not made it. This time she decides to sing a song co-written by Simon, “Footprints in the Sand”—clever girl. Simon loves the song, and likes the voice too this time. I liked it too. So that’s 5 yes votes.

The next contestant, Amanda Schectman, tells us she does all kinds of voices. We start off by hearing her impression of Britney Spears. It’s more like what we thought Nicci Nix from last night would sound like. She can also talk with her mouth closed. If this doesn’t work out for her, she can take her ventriloquist skills to “America’s Got Talent”. Her voice is good, better than Jessica’s before her. The judges don’t like the way she connected with them. Simon makes fun of how overdramatic she is (and it’s actually pretty funny) but gives her a yes anyway. She’s going to Hollywood.

Next up is guitar-toting Lee Dewyze singing “Ain’t No Sunshine”. I like it. Crystal Bowesox performs “Take A Little Piece of My Heart.” It’s good too. They both make it.

Lacey Brown made it to top 50 last year, but Meghan Joy beat her out. She goes at it again this year singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. I don’t think it’s great, but the judges (probably regretting their decision with Meghan Joy) give her another chance.

Stephanie Fisher is auditioning for the 7^th time. 7 is her lucky number. She was born on the 7^th of the month, weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces, and has 7 in her street address. She says she has a huge crush on Simon. Her audition is bad, real bad. Seventh time is not a charm. Posh tells her she has a “definite” look. That’s a back handed compliment if I’ve ever seen one.

Rachel Hubbard is amazing. Best vocal tonight. Then comes Thadeus Copeland, who is equally amazing. Genesis Moore is also really good, but not as good as Rachel or Thadeus. Wow, this episode is shaping up quite nicely.

Adrian is 17 years old and 6’8. He has a squeaky voice and looks like a monster from a Pixar movie. He’s a swimmer who describes himself a beautiful man flower. One who will blossom and blossom and keep blossoming. His voice needs to blossom some more for sure. They judges say he’s a sweet guy, which is their way of saying he’s a lousy singer.

Micheal Lynche is a 26 year old personal trainer. His arms look to be the size of my waist. He says “We just found out we’re going to have a baby girl, but everyone thinks its going to be a boy, so…we’re going to find out”. Wait…find out what? I thought you found out is was going to be a girl? He sings “Unchained Melodies” . Kara calls him a singing teddy bear, and they all give him a yes.

Didi has the first sob story of the night, and it’s 37 minutes into the show….wow, they must have used up all the other sad clips in the earlier auditions. She sings “Hey Jude”, and I like it. She breaks down in tears. The judges encourage her and put her through to Hollywood.

Aaron Kelly had a rough start to his life. For reasons we’re not clued in to, he leaves his parents to live with his aunt and uncle. Guess I was wrong about the sob stories, they just were saving them up for the end. He sings “The Climb”, and the judges like it. I think he’ll get the David Archuleta votes. He’s adorable, actually. Love his personality, kind of timid…but not awkwardly so.

Kimberly Bishop is a scary looking gothic creature who delivers the line of the night. “I would be a great pop singer because I have a really big heart. And I would be into recycling, and kids in Africa.” Awww, honey, that doesn’t make you a pop singer, that makes you a Seattle dwelling World Vision employee. She sings “I Kissed a Girl”. More like chants monotone-ly. She gets no’s.

Shaddai Harris’ mom had a vision when she was pregnant that her daughter was going to be a singer. Turns out it was probably just indigestion. This girl’s no good. It’s a no.

Hope Johnson comes from a big poor family. But she didn’t know she was poor growing up. She did know that her brother cried when she was hungry so she would take food from her lunch tray at school home to him. What a sweetheart…I love this girl. Her voice isn’t great, but the judges give her a pass to Hollywood.

So the auditions are done. Up next is Hollywood, and newbie judge Ellen. I CAN’T wait. Until then, I’ll busy myself recycling and helping kids in Africa.

Best Female Vocal: Rachel Hubbard
Best Male Vocal: Thadeus Copeland
Prettiest Girl: Lacey Brown
Hottest Guy: Michael Lynche
Best Personality: Aaron Kelly
Best Overall: Hope Johnson

American Idol: Road to Hollywood Recap

The last audition episode before Hollywood is a cornucopia episode of all manner of auditions. I imagine some will be good, and some will be bad. Perhaps the good will outnumber the bad, but I’m not hopeful. It is, after all, the early rounds…a place schadenfreude reigns supreme. (Schadenfreude, by the way, is happiness at the misfortune of others.)

Jessica Furney has auditioned before, and not made it. This time she decides to sing a song co-written by Simon, “Footprints in the Sand”—clever girl. Simon loves the song, and likes the voice too this time. I liked it too. So that’s 5 yes votes.

The next contestant, Amanda Schectman, tells us she does all kinds of voices. We start off by hearing her impression of Britney Spears. It’s more like what we thought Nicci Nix from last night would sound like. She can also talk with her mouth closed. If this doesn’t work out for her, she can take her ventriloquist skills to “America’s Got Talent”. Her voice is good, better than Jessica’s before her. The judges don’t like the way she connected with them. Simon makes fun of how overdramatic she is (and it’s actually pretty funny) but gives her a yes anyway. She’s going to Hollywood.

Next up is guitar-toting Lee Dewyze singing “Ain’t No Sunshine”. I like it. Crystal Bowesox performs “Take A Little Piece of My Heart.” It’s good too. They both make it.

Lacey Brown made it to top 50 last year, but Meghan Joy beat her out. She goes at it again this year singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. I don’t think it’s great, but the judges (probably regretting their decision with Meghan Joy) give her another chance.

Stephanie Fisher is auditioning for the 7^th time. 7 is her lucky number. She was born on the 7^th of the month, weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces, and has 7 in her street address. She says she has a huge crush on Simon. Her audition is bad, real bad. Seventh time is not a charm. Posh tells her she has a “definite” look. That’s a back handed compliment if I’ve ever seen one.

Rachel Hubbard is amazing. Best vocal tonight. Then comes Thadeus Copeland, who is equally amazing. Genesis Moore is also really good, but not as good as Rachel or Thadeus. Wow, this episode is shaping up quite nicely.

Adrian is 17 years old and 6’8. He has a squeaky voice and looks like a monster from a Pixar movie. He’s a swimmer who describes himself a beautiful man flower. One who will blossom and blossom and keep blossoming. His voice needs to blossom some more for sure. They judges say he’s a sweet guy, which is their way of saying he’s a lousy singer.

Micheal Lynche is a 26 year old personal trainer. His arms look to be the size of my waist. He says “We just found out we’re going to have a baby girl, but everyone thinks its going to be a boy, so…we’re going to find out”. Wait…find out what? I thought you found out is was going to be a girl? He sings “Unchained Melodies” . Kara calls him a singing teddy bear, and they all give him a yes.

Didi has the first sob story of the night, and it’s 37 minutes into the show….wow, they must have used up all the other sad clips in the earlier auditions. She sings “Hey Jude”, and I like it. She breaks down in tears. The judges encourage her and put her through to Hollywood.

Aaron Kelly had a rough start to his life. For reasons we’re not clued in to, he leaves his parents to live with his aunt and uncle. Guess I was wrong about the sob stories, they just were saving them up for the end. He sings “The Climb”, and the judges like it. I think he’ll get the David Archuleta votes. He’s adorable, actually. Love his personality, kind of timid…but not awkwardly so.

Kimberly Bishop is a scary looking gothic creature who delivers the line of the night. “I would be a great pop singer because I have a really big heart. And I would be into recycling, and kids in Africa.” Awww, honey, that doesn’t make you a pop singer, that makes you a Seattle dwelling World Vision employee. She sings “I Kissed a Girl”. More like chants monotone-ly. She gets no’s.

Shaddai Harris’ mom had a vision when she was pregnant that her daughter was going to be a singer. Turns out it was probably just indigestion. This girl’s no good. It’s a no.

Hope Johnson comes from a big poor family. But she didn’t know she was poor growing up. She did know that her brother cried when she was hungry so she would take food from her lunch tray at school home to him. What a sweetheart…I love this girl. Her voice isn’t great, but the judges give her a pass to Hollywood.

So the auditions are done. Up next is Hollywood, and newbie judge Ellen. I CAN’T wait. Until then, I’ll busy myself recycling and helping kids in Africa.

Best Female Vocal: Rachel Hubbard
Best Male Vocal: Thadeus Copeland
Prettiest Girl: Lacey Brown
Hottest Guy: Michael Lynche
Best Personality: Aaron Kelly
Best Overall: Hope Johnson

American Idol: Denver Recap

Denver hosts the next stop in the Idol Audition tour. Denver was the audition birthplace of Chris Daughtry so we of course are shown a little Daughtry montage. Posh Spice is once again guest judging. This may be the pot calling the kettle black, but Posh could stand to gain a little weight. She looks like a bobble-head doll.

The first auditioner is Mark Labriola. People tell him he looks like Jack Black. He tells us he likes cheese and as a child he was “on the run” with his mom. Some confusing banter about the location of various kids ensues. Mark sings good. Posh is pleasantly surprised. All the judges say yes.

We watch a clip about people being nervous, and then we meet Mario who has a nervous laugh. He’s dressed like a homeless militant sorcerer. He sings a laughable version of “Jailhouse Rock”. After plenty of nervous laughing, the judges tell him it’s a no. Hahaha.

A clip of foul mouthed audition rejects plays. Lots of people seem to punch the camera—which seems painful. Kimberly Kerbow is another mom with a cute, sassy kid. So far this season, cute, sassy kids have been beneficial to aspiring idols. I think she’s cute. Her voice is pretty good. The judges all give her a yes.

A montage of good performers follows, but as usual, we don’t hear any of their singing. Danelle Hayes is dressed like a hot mess. She says she’s a wreck…well, she’s dressed for the part for sure. Her voice is raspy and powerful. The judges like her and she gets four yes votes.

Casey James was in a motorcycle accident and was told he would never play the guitar again. He plays it, even though it causes him pain. He sings and Simon doesn’t like him at all. He’s cute, but boring. Kara asks him to take off his shirt. Well, that’s weird. He makes it to Hollywood.

Tori Kelly brings a gaggle of kids with her to the audition. One of them comes into the audition and passes out drawings of the judges. Tori has a good voice. So far, it’s the best female voice of the audition. Simon didn’t like the voice, but the other judges disagree and put her through.

On day two of the audition, we meet Austin Paul. He studies music composition and plays football. He gives us a brief lesson in long-snapping. When he talks, he seems retarded. When he sings, he deepens that suspicion. All the judges thought he was cocky. The judges try and take him down a notch, but he still thinks he could be a star. Not on Idol.

Male Mary J. Blige (aka Kenny) is up next. When he sings, he brings community together. Perhaps together in opposition to ever having to hear him again. All the judges tell him no, but he launches into another song. It’s also very bad.

Nicci Nix has the most annoying speaking voice I’ve ever heard…like Minnie Mouse on speed. I don’t think her singing voice is too much better. Posh likes her attitude, skin, and look. Randy loves her, Kara loves her, Simon likes her. I don’t get it. I thought it was ok at best.

Haley Vaughn is lucky to be alive. She was born premature and weighed just two pounds. Big deal, I weigh that now. She wants to be the first black, pop, country mainstream singer. If you add enough adjectives to a noun, you can be the first of anything. I think she’s on to something here. The judges like her voice and her bubbly personality. I like the personality too. She’s going to Hollywood. While I wasn’t blown away by her voice, there’s something about her I really like.

Denver closes with an homage to bikini girl. This serves as an introduction to bikini boy. All the judges walk out on him…good call.

Best Female Voice- Tori Kelly
Best Male Voice- Mark Labriola
Cutest Girl- Kimberly Kerbow
Hottest Guy- Casey James
Best Personality- Haley Vaughn
Best Overall- Haley Vaughn