American Idol: Road to Hollywood Recap

The last audition episode before Hollywood is a cornucopia episode of all manner of auditions. I imagine some will be good, and some will be bad. Perhaps the good will outnumber the bad, but I’m not hopeful. It is, after all, the early rounds…a place schadenfreude reigns supreme. (Schadenfreude, by the way, is happiness at the misfortune of others.)

Jessica Furney has auditioned before, and not made it. This time she decides to sing a song co-written by Simon, “Footprints in the Sand”—clever girl. Simon loves the song, and likes the voice too this time. I liked it too. So that’s 5 yes votes.

The next contestant, Amanda Schectman, tells us she does all kinds of voices. We start off by hearing her impression of Britney Spears. It’s more like what we thought Nicci Nix from last night would sound like. She can also talk with her mouth closed. If this doesn’t work out for her, she can take her ventriloquist skills to “America’s Got Talent”. Her voice is good, better than Jessica’s before her. The judges don’t like the way she connected with them. Simon makes fun of how overdramatic she is (and it’s actually pretty funny) but gives her a yes anyway. She’s going to Hollywood.

Next up is guitar-toting Lee Dewyze singing “Ain’t No Sunshine”. I like it. Crystal Bowesox performs “Take A Little Piece of My Heart.” It’s good too. They both make it.

Lacey Brown made it to top 50 last year, but Meghan Joy beat her out. She goes at it again this year singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. I don’t think it’s great, but the judges (probably regretting their decision with Meghan Joy) give her another chance.

Stephanie Fisher is auditioning for the 7^th time. 7 is her lucky number. She was born on the 7^th of the month, weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces, and has 7 in her street address. She says she has a huge crush on Simon. Her audition is bad, real bad. Seventh time is not a charm. Posh tells her she has a “definite” look. That’s a back handed compliment if I’ve ever seen one.

Rachel Hubbard is amazing. Best vocal tonight. Then comes Thadeus Copeland, who is equally amazing. Genesis Moore is also really good, but not as good as Rachel or Thadeus. Wow, this episode is shaping up quite nicely.

Adrian is 17 years old and 6’8. He has a squeaky voice and looks like a monster from a Pixar movie. He’s a swimmer who describes himself a beautiful man flower. One who will blossom and blossom and keep blossoming. His voice needs to blossom some more for sure. They judges say he’s a sweet guy, which is their way of saying he’s a lousy singer.

Micheal Lynche is a 26 year old personal trainer. His arms look to be the size of my waist. He says “We just found out we’re going to have a baby girl, but everyone thinks its going to be a boy, so…we’re going to find out”. Wait…find out what? I thought you found out is was going to be a girl? He sings “Unchained Melodies” . Kara calls him a singing teddy bear, and they all give him a yes.

Didi has the first sob story of the night, and it’s 37 minutes into the show….wow, they must have used up all the other sad clips in the earlier auditions. She sings “Hey Jude”, and I like it. She breaks down in tears. The judges encourage her and put her through to Hollywood.

Aaron Kelly had a rough start to his life. For reasons we’re not clued in to, he leaves his parents to live with his aunt and uncle. Guess I was wrong about the sob stories, they just were saving them up for the end. He sings “The Climb”, and the judges like it. I think he’ll get the David Archuleta votes. He’s adorable, actually. Love his personality, kind of timid…but not awkwardly so.

Kimberly Bishop is a scary looking gothic creature who delivers the line of the night. “I would be a great pop singer because I have a really big heart. And I would be into recycling, and kids in Africa.” Awww, honey, that doesn’t make you a pop singer, that makes you a Seattle dwelling World Vision employee. She sings “I Kissed a Girl”. More like chants monotone-ly. She gets no’s.

Shaddai Harris’ mom had a vision when she was pregnant that her daughter was going to be a singer. Turns out it was probably just indigestion. This girl’s no good. It’s a no.

Hope Johnson comes from a big poor family. But she didn’t know she was poor growing up. She did know that her brother cried when she was hungry so she would take food from her lunch tray at school home to him. What a sweetheart…I love this girl. Her voice isn’t great, but the judges give her a pass to Hollywood.

So the auditions are done. Up next is Hollywood, and newbie judge Ellen. I CAN’T wait. Until then, I’ll busy myself recycling and helping kids in Africa.

Best Female Vocal: Rachel Hubbard
Best Male Vocal: Thadeus Copeland
Prettiest Girl: Lacey Brown
Hottest Guy: Michael Lynche
Best Personality: Aaron Kelly
Best Overall: Hope Johnson