The second stop on the Idol audition tour is New Orleans. 6,500 people turn out for their chance to become the next American Idol. Jennifer looks extra nice. Steven looks extra creepy. Randy looks extra dawg.
The first singer up to bat is Jordan Dorsey. He's a vocal and piano instructor. He says he's extra stern on his students. He expects them to practice 4 or 5 times, not just once. 5 whole practices? Man, this guy is strict. Randy says since he plays piano he knows Jordan is going to be in tune. He was in tune. He was actually really good. Halfway through his song he says he's going to "change it up"--so he starts snapping. That's something you learn in practice 5 I bet. Forget the snapping, though. What he should change is his clothes. A white t-shirt? Buddy, you're going on television, not cutting the grass. The judges like him despite his fashion, however, and send him to Hollywood.
We see a couple of bad no-name singers who all are given no's. Then we meet Sarah Sellers. She has big lips. Steven is impressed with her large lips. She wears glasses. Steven also likes her glasses. I think she looks like an elementary school librarian, but she's got a great voice. All three judges give her a yes and she is on her way to Hollywood.
Jovany Barreto has a crush on J Lo. He also is enamored with Marc Anthony. He sings a song in spanish and then starts sucking up big time to Jennifer. Then he strips for her. Wait, what's happening? When did this become a Chippendales audition? You're trying to get to Hollywood, not Vegas. In any event, someone give this guy a bowtie. He apologizes to Marc Anthony for stripping in front of his wife. Look Jovany, we all know now you have a killer body but Marc is worth roughly $125 million. I don't think he feels threatened in the least. The strip tease does the trick, though, and he gets his ticket.
Randy is from Louisiana, so those of us who aren't watching this on our DVR are forced to sit through a Randy tribute segment. I'm a little disappointed they didn't play "Who Let the Dogs Out", but I manage. And, it just so happens the next contestant, Jacquelyn Dupree, has a relative that coached Randy in high school football. This girl's in before she even sings a note. Of course they trot in the coach and he and Randy Banter back and forth a bit. Jacquelyn is good, but it's almost as if she's trying too hard. With the family connection to Randy's past, though, she gets her trip to Hollywood.
Next we get to meet Brett. He likes to stand out, which is good because he's a goofy looking guy with crazy red hair. He uses baby oil to condition it, which seem messy and a little gross. He was constantly bullied and picked on as a kid. This bothered him until one day he had an epiphany…he's going to be comfortable in his own shell…"a red apple in a pile of green apples". This may be the most awkward contestant in the history of the show, but he's good. Shockingly good. And he shouldn't be. He's too awkward.
Gabriel Franks is full of himself. I've heard him say five words and I don't like him already. He sings "Bad Romance." The should be a rule…no, a law…against guys singing this song. And an amendment to that law should prohibit Gabriel from ever singing again.
Since Gabriel was so bad, we get some relief by seeing more bad singers. And then Alex comes in to meet the judges. When Alex was 15 (he's 18 now), he went to Idol Camp. He's painfully bad. What kind of idols is the camp trying to produce? Comic Idols? Tone Deaf Idols? Oblivious to reality idols?
We need some relief from bad singing, and what we get is JC Badeaux. He's a 15 year old fat kid so things aren't' looking all that great that we will be spared from more acoustic torture. OMG! He's actually good! It's a fat Justin Bieber! Or a young, white, skinny Reuben Stoddard! He's my fav. Sorry awkward red head guy, sorry shirtless hunk, I want the fat kid to win. J Lo says he is so sweet, and I agree. It must be the large amounts of sugar that he obviously eats.
Rounding out the New Orleans auditions is Paris Tassin. She got pregnant when she was 15. When she went to the doctor to find out if she was going to have a boy or girl, they told her the baby had hydrocephalus and encouraged her to have an abortion. She decided to have the baby. The baby made it and is doing good. It's this episodes only real sob story…and it's a pretty good one…so I'm moved. Her song has some good moments and some bad moments, but the emotion of it all attacks Jennifer and she starts crying. They give her a ticket to Hollywood.
So far, the first two episodes have been good. I think this season might be able to redeem the show from last year's bore-fest. It has the perfect match of talent, crazies, and talented crazies, so the Hollywood rounds are sure to be exciting.
The first singer up to bat is Jordan Dorsey. He's a vocal and piano instructor. He says he's extra stern on his students. He expects them to practice 4 or 5 times, not just once. 5 whole practices? Man, this guy is strict. Randy says since he plays piano he knows Jordan is going to be in tune. He was in tune. He was actually really good. Halfway through his song he says he's going to "change it up"--so he starts snapping. That's something you learn in practice 5 I bet. Forget the snapping, though. What he should change is his clothes. A white t-shirt? Buddy, you're going on television, not cutting the grass. The judges like him despite his fashion, however, and send him to Hollywood.
We see a couple of bad no-name singers who all are given no's. Then we meet Sarah Sellers. She has big lips. Steven is impressed with her large lips. She wears glasses. Steven also likes her glasses. I think she looks like an elementary school librarian, but she's got a great voice. All three judges give her a yes and she is on her way to Hollywood.
Jovany Barreto has a crush on J Lo. He also is enamored with Marc Anthony. He sings a song in spanish and then starts sucking up big time to Jennifer. Then he strips for her. Wait, what's happening? When did this become a Chippendales audition? You're trying to get to Hollywood, not Vegas. In any event, someone give this guy a bowtie. He apologizes to Marc Anthony for stripping in front of his wife. Look Jovany, we all know now you have a killer body but Marc is worth roughly $125 million. I don't think he feels threatened in the least. The strip tease does the trick, though, and he gets his ticket.
Randy is from Louisiana, so those of us who aren't watching this on our DVR are forced to sit through a Randy tribute segment. I'm a little disappointed they didn't play "Who Let the Dogs Out", but I manage. And, it just so happens the next contestant, Jacquelyn Dupree, has a relative that coached Randy in high school football. This girl's in before she even sings a note. Of course they trot in the coach and he and Randy Banter back and forth a bit. Jacquelyn is good, but it's almost as if she's trying too hard. With the family connection to Randy's past, though, she gets her trip to Hollywood.
Next we get to meet Brett. He likes to stand out, which is good because he's a goofy looking guy with crazy red hair. He uses baby oil to condition it, which seem messy and a little gross. He was constantly bullied and picked on as a kid. This bothered him until one day he had an epiphany…he's going to be comfortable in his own shell…"a red apple in a pile of green apples". This may be the most awkward contestant in the history of the show, but he's good. Shockingly good. And he shouldn't be. He's too awkward.
Gabriel Franks is full of himself. I've heard him say five words and I don't like him already. He sings "Bad Romance." The should be a rule…no, a law…against guys singing this song. And an amendment to that law should prohibit Gabriel from ever singing again.
Since Gabriel was so bad, we get some relief by seeing more bad singers. And then Alex comes in to meet the judges. When Alex was 15 (he's 18 now), he went to Idol Camp. He's painfully bad. What kind of idols is the camp trying to produce? Comic Idols? Tone Deaf Idols? Oblivious to reality idols?
We need some relief from bad singing, and what we get is JC Badeaux. He's a 15 year old fat kid so things aren't' looking all that great that we will be spared from more acoustic torture. OMG! He's actually good! It's a fat Justin Bieber! Or a young, white, skinny Reuben Stoddard! He's my fav. Sorry awkward red head guy, sorry shirtless hunk, I want the fat kid to win. J Lo says he is so sweet, and I agree. It must be the large amounts of sugar that he obviously eats.
Rounding out the New Orleans auditions is Paris Tassin. She got pregnant when she was 15. When she went to the doctor to find out if she was going to have a boy or girl, they told her the baby had hydrocephalus and encouraged her to have an abortion. She decided to have the baby. The baby made it and is doing good. It's this episodes only real sob story…and it's a pretty good one…so I'm moved. Her song has some good moments and some bad moments, but the emotion of it all attacks Jennifer and she starts crying. They give her a ticket to Hollywood.
So far, the first two episodes have been good. I think this season might be able to redeem the show from last year's bore-fest. It has the perfect match of talent, crazies, and talented crazies, so the Hollywood rounds are sure to be exciting.
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